Forever came too soon.

Is it sad to say that I still love you? Is it so wrong that maybe, perhaps I still miss you? I miss you a lot actually...And the fact that you're always on my mind seems even worse. I feel like the thoughts of you shouldn't affect me, or even enter my mind to begin with. And I feel as though the moment you stopped loving me is when I should have stopped loving you. And while you've long since moved on, unfortunately I have not. I'm still very much living in the past...And while I've made slight attempts to let go...It never happens. The moment I try to convince myself that I've moved on, I know that it's a lie. And yet I still manage to be living in some sort of fantasy world...Having such unrealistic dreams and wishes that are impossible. I know in the back of my mind that all of those things are also lies, yet I continue to hope that those lies will become truths, and that everything will be okay. That things will become how they used to be-if not better-and I can call you mine again. I would give anything for us to be together again... And I remember those countless times you promised you'd always love me, and that we'd be each others forever. I made those promises to you as well...But you didn't stick with them. You stopped loving me, and everything is over. I on the other hand still to this day maintain that promise to always love you. As for the second part...Well, you said we'd last forever, but forever came too soon.

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Time doesn't heal all wounds

Alright, so whoever came up with the statement "time heals all wounds" must have seriously not known what they were talking about. That statement is such a lie. Time definitely does not heal all wounds. No matter how much time passes by, you'll always have those memories, those thoughts... They'll keep haunting you. They've haunted me for longer than I can say, and they'll haunt me for the rest of my life.
I wish more than anything that I can erase those memories...But unfortunately that's not going to happen. I can't control the thoughts that enter my head either. So now what? I'm not sure. I guess I'll just have to keep dealing with it; keep having nights like this where the negative thoughts are present more than ever, and it's just slightly more than I can handle. But I'm used to it by now, I think.
It's just this continuous cycle, and there's no way out.

A simple life

So I'm sitting in this coffee shop at the moment. I've been here for about 2 1/2 hours, sitting in a booth in the back corner. There were people sitting near me earlier, but now I'm kind of alone in this area... And for some reason I had the sudden urge to blog. Coffee shops are my ideal area for blogging, and just hanging out for that matter. I just love the environment of coffee shops, and everything about them. It's the first time I've been to one where I actually sat down with the laptop like I am now. And today I've come to realize how much I love this place. And I'm oddly in a very good mood after having been here. I really would like to come here more often...

I really hope I can work in a coffee shop one day. That's hopefully going to be my future job. That's the life I want... I mean, for the first part of my life when I can be on my own. I want to live in a town home. You know, those really cute apartments located by the outdoor mall type of things, usually above restaurants, coffee shops, small businesses, etc... And every place I'd want to go is right there in my neighborhood, within walking distance. And I can go to the coffee shop in my spare time with my laptop, and just hang out there all day...blogging, hanging out with friends, etc... And then I'd get a part time job there, and could just walk down there every morning from my apartment, which would be amazing by the way because I could decorate it however I want to. ;) And if I could explain just how badly I wanted that life-especially now-trust me, I would. Because that's really all I want, and it would be amazing, to me at least. But unfortunately I still have a few years before that can happen. I mean sure, I can go with my dad to this coffee shop whenever he goes for work, and I could go to "my" booth with the laptop. But only when it's convenient for him. And that won't happen much with school starting up soon. So I guess my coffee shop days will have to be put on hold for a bit... Unless I can beg my parents to bring me here on the weekends.

Anyways, just thought I'd rant about the life I wish I had, and hopefully will have within the next few years. It's not too much to ask, so I'm just waiting until the day I can finally be on my own. And hopefully it will be as good as I think it will be. All I can do is hope...

Congrats Anette. ♥

I am very excited to say that ANETTE OLZON HAD HER BABY!!!! YAY!!!! I'm so happy for her! :) When I read the blog about it, I was so excited. :) So, a big congratulations to her and her husband. And hopefully her recovery goes well, and she can soon join the boys at Nightwish summer camp/rehearsing for the new album. ;)

Let's all wish Anette and her family the best. ♥

-Lauren

Within Temptation ;)

Just some Within Temptation songs I wanted to share. :)

Memories:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9tL4Mgzjx0&feature=avmsc2


What Have You Done:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEgXDhiayz4

Gotta love Sharon. ;)

Anette Olzon group

Okay, so I'm well aware that no one is going to read this... But someone might so whatever. I recently created a "We love Anette Olzon" group on facebook. I've been sending messages to random people on other Anette Olzon fan pages and it has paid off. So far I've gotten 101 members in the group. I hope I can get a lot more...because there are some facebook groups with thousands or even millions of members. But I still feel REALLY accomplished with having 101 members in mine!!!

Here's the link:

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=2361831622#!/group.php?gid=134558959896969

PLEASE JOIN!!! Don't be afraid to show your love for Anette. ;)

Weird Monday

I hate hate HATE Monday's. Last night, I got to bed around 11:15 and when I woke up this morning at 7:15, I could berely keep my eyes opened for more than a few seconds. I was SO exhausted all day, and very out of it. I got home, and my friend randomly shows up at my house, and only stays over for about an hour. It was fun though, and certainly made my Monday better. :) I'm still very tired right now. I've been trying to get to bed earlier, but it never usually happens... Anyways, I am SO ready for Summer! "Only" 9 more weeks to go, bleh. Who knows, it could go by faster than I think. Then again, I always lose friends during the Summer, or something weird/depressing happens. But this Summer could be different, I'll just have to wait and see. I'm determined to do more this time around, since last year I stayed home watching TV as my Summer went by, seemingly slow. At least my birthday is in August, and I'll finally be 15! Something about being 15 is so great to me, or maybe it's just that being 14 is getting old. I don't really know.

Well, I'm definitely ranting about pointless stuff, but I do enjoy it. :) Even though I only have like 2 followers.. /:

Oh well, goodbye.

Endless Sunday...

I always seem to complain about how bad Sundays are... but today is more drawn out than usual. I've been on the computer for over 3 hours, and that has helped the time pass. I watch videos on youtube of live performances and interviews for my favorite bands, as I do almost every day. :) I mostly watch videos of Anette Olzon/Nightwish. I could listen to her voice all day; she is absolutely amazing. I just got through watching one of her performances of "Meadows of Heaven" and her voice sounded absolutely flawless, as it always does. For some reason, this website won't let me use the link for the video. :( If you wish to be amazed, get on youtube, type in the words below, and turn up your volume:

Chaos Tube presents... Anette Olzon: Meadows of Heaven (soundcheck)